It’s been 7 years to my marriage and today I have two kids, elder one close to 4 yrs and an infant of 8 months. And to be honest, I wasn’t prepared both the times. I would also confess despite being 4 yrs into motherhood, I still find myself in difficult and unmanageable situations. There are days when I just want to run away. There are times each day when I want to give up. Motherhood is the most difficult part of being a woman, starting from pregnancy and continuing until you die. Yet, I love being a mother.
There is my entire world in those tiny hands. There are numerous questions in those sparkling eyes (which make me crazy, btw). But, one look at my two daughters and I can’t be thankful enough to God. I always wanted daughters and HE has blessed me with not one but two. Kids are so adorable.
Every day there is a moment when I feel trapped. But there are umpteen numbers of moments every day when I feel how lucky I am. Ay, my elder daughter is such a blessing. She is such an independent girl already, that she even takes care of the infant. Although she does make me cry with her endless questions.
Sometimes, however, I am terrified of the world outside. Kids are innocent. They are pampered. They are loved like there’s no tomorrow. I fear for them getting hurt, physically and mentally. I am worried if my kids will be able to cope with the pressure of every little silly thing the society may put on them.
But then I feel, no matter where the world heads to, I will make my kids strong enough to face the world with their head held high. I will make my daughters so independent that their happiness and their life isn’t dependent on any man, but themselves. I will make my daughters strong enough to be able to raise their voice, live life on their own terms, and let no one dictate them what to do.
There is one more thing I would want to instill in my kids. As a person, I always want to keep the child in me alive until I die. And, I would instill the same in my daughters. I would want them to keep their innocence alive. I would want them to be the child again, whenever they get a chance. I want to look at them when I grow old, like I do now, and see the same 4 yo and 8 months old girls they were once.
And say to myself and them, I have loved being your mother.
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