Asmi’s Journal
22/05/2015
Sometimes, all one needs to do is believe in herself. It’s the belief in us that keeps us going.
Because no matter how pro or experienced you are at something if it doesn’t set in the existing norms of the society, you will always be wrong.
If the ‘society’ believes that women can’t drive’ then it means women can’t drive. Simple as ABC.
I have been driving for more than 10 years now but even today Neel has his doubts. Just because I’m a woman. Funny no, how the society so easily tags women with things they think she can’t do?
I wanted to resume work after Avni.
But, of course, the same age-old advice poured in, your daughter needs time, how can you work, which mother leaves her daughter and resumes work, your kid is your everything now. Uff, I so wanted to yell at of these people freely darting at me- Give me a break, will you!
I was for the nth time in a dilemma. Should I take the step ahead? Am I really being a bad mother?
But, a voice in me always whispered when I flauntered, Believe in yourself. It was so soft that the other voices always shadowed it. Yet, it remained there.
I was losing myself while being the dutiful wife and the lovable Mom. I couldn’t lose myself, my identity, my personality in these two responsibilities.
I couldn’t lose Asmi. I wouldn’t lose me! I thought one day.
A mother’s heart wasn’t willing to leave her daughter behind and resume the full time job, though the very thought was difficult to push aside. So, I decided to take freelance projects.
I had to start somewhere and I was soon juggling between managing work, child, and home. But, I had to manage all because more than anyone else I wanted to prove to myself that I can do it.
It was imperative that I set some grounds, that I lay some rules, and most importantly that I prepare Avni for it.
On the other side, I didn’t want Avni to feel bereft and lonely. I wanted my daughter to understand that her mom is with her always but she has certain other responsibilities too. I knew Avni would understand. She is a part of me.
Today, after three years of working as a freelance digital marketer, I am proud of myself. I pulled it off.
I knew I could do it. Because I believed in me.
And yes, I am a woman.
If I can carry my child in my for nine months. If I can bear the pain to bring a part of me in the world. If I can bleed and yet feed my baby. I can do anything in the world. Managing my work, my house, and my baby is nothing.
I Am She!
One of the best posts that I’ve read today. So clean yet so aspiring and relatable. Love your writing, simple yet goes straight to the heart. Keep going!!
Thanks much for reading, Mannat. 🙂 You guys are my strength.
You believed, and so you did! Loved this. So inspiring and motivating. <3
Thanks, Piyusha. Yes, it’s important that one believes in him’herself because the world loves pulling people down.
Whats it with women and driving? I think we have heard it so much that a part of us sometimes believes iy to be true. I am learning driving and it seems tough but I am fighting hard to not let them stupid thought impact me. As a mom, life is not easy , managing your own aspirations and a household- but its important our kids understand that we have an identity beyond being a mom, a wife and a daughter. Glad Asmi listened to that voice
I always look forward to your comments, Akshata. All the best with driving lessons. It’s not at all rocket science. Trust me, once you get a hang of it, it’s amazing. Makes me feel independent. Oh, and I just don’t understand what’s the problem with women and driving. I am proud of my driving skills and drive much better than my husband. Yet, it happens that on road, it’s always the women who are looked down despite the other person being faulty. And i just hate it to the core. feel like giving them in the ass.
I so hope all moms understand that they have their own life other than motherhood and household. I see many of them forget about themselves immediately after delivery and take up child and house as if they’re born for nothing else. Makes me really sad. 🙁
Take that Step Rashi! And glad you did it. Society has its own outdate rules and tries imposing upon us in an emotional way. It makes one feel guilty and restless. It somewhere clips a womans wings. Glas you found your and are able to bring in a feeling of satisfaction in your life.
Straight from the heart! Something I needed to read today when I had started doubting myself with the IFS and the What IFs. Fortunately for me, my husband has always been super supportive and helpful. Even today if my two-year old wake up at night, my husband gives us company. It’s the pressure “others” keep putting. The baby needs his mother, this time will not come back, he will miss you. I agree with all that. The same applies to fathers too. But i don’t get to hear anyone saying it to them.
Beautifully expressed ♥️
Thanks a ton for dropping by, Meghana. Means a lot. Especially when I’m not able to catch up.
Of-course it’s easy to judge a woman than her male counterpart and more obvious in India. Beautifully expressed Rashi.