Today, was like every other day, packed with household chores and the same routine. But, today, something happened which made me stop and think. It was nothing big, a small incident, can be said regular too, but I couldn’t stop myself from wondering on the reality that hit me henceforth and the truth which came from it, which cannot be denied.
Neel was working from home today and had clearly told us not to disturb him. And, we all abide by. Nonetheless, it was a regular day for us and though Neel was around it didn’t really matter.
It was after lunch and Maa was watching her regular saas-bahu serial, back to back. I just hate these stupid, baseless serials. So, toxic for our society.
I retired to my room for a quick nap when Maa updated that Sudha aunty was coming over in some time.
Lovely. There goes my nap. There goes my Me-Time. Because, of course, how can a daughter-in-law be in her room if there is a guest at home, even though if this guest comes to visit us thrice a week.
“Namaste, beta. Asmi, you’re still the same, beta. Don’t you eat anything? You’re so thin!”
Every part of me wanted to scream ‘No aunty, I’m living on air and water. I don’t feel like eating anything. M allergic to food’. But, all I could muster was a weak smile.
“Oh, don’t ask me, Sudha. She doesn’t eat Almonds. She doesn’t eat Karela. Nothing.” How could Maa be left behind from taunting on my physic? After all, my weight gain is her responsibility. What my parents and nature couldn’t do, Maa has to do. And as if eating almonds and karela were the only two items which could make me fat. As if, the hundred other things I eat are useless.
Even after 10 years of my marriage, this saga continues. Comment on my weight. Comment on my falling hair. Comment on my dressing sense. Comment on the kind of books I read (yes, this too). Comment on bloody every small thing.
Sometimes, I wonder, is commenting on daughters-in-law some kind of a pass time or refreshment for the mothers-in-law.
Just then Neel came out from the study and I was so relieved. I knew he would come to my rescue. But, when Neel didn’t even acknowledge the conversation, which I’m sure he heard while coming in the room, I felt dejected, as if left alone in a battlefield.
I had half-expected Neel to put a lid on this age-old conversation. But, alas.
I’m sick of listening to the rain of advice on making myself better. Why? Ain’t I happy and healthy the way I am? I do everything a daughter-in-law should do and I hardly get sick. Then why? Why this sickening pressure? Why this scrutiny? Why can’t I be accepted the way I am? Why do I need to change myself to fit in this family?
Each time a comment is passed I feel like standing in large a room and being stripped to my skin by every other person, some whom I don’t even know.
Who gave them this right? The right to judge me? to change me? And the question hit me hard like a poisonous arrow.
Will I ever be accepted into the family, the way I am? Will any daughter-in-law be accepted, as she is, by her husband’s family?
This post is a part of Asmi’s Journal written for Blogchatter A2Z Blogging Challenge.
Asmi is just another girl, like you and me, trying to push her stand in our dominated and hypocrite society. The society which cannot bear anything different cropping up through its ancient roots. Anything different is termed as harmful and a stain on the existing norms, whether it’s a female trying to voice her opinion or a child trying to reason out.
Why is it so difficult to accept?
There are many such questions that need to be addressed. This, is just the beginning.