Parenting is definitely not easy, yet I’d say it is heart-warming, blissful, and a learning every day. A mom to a toddler close to 4 yo and an infant of 7months, each day there comes a moment when I feel I can’t survive. But, as I said, it’s only a moment. A smile from the baby or a hug from Ay is more than enough to melt my heart again. However, it doesn’t mean I do not keep a check on Ay, for only the heart melts, the mind is still quite firm and in its right place. So, here are some parenting mantras I follow by heart:
Parenting Mantra 1- Never pay attention to the wailing
The very first parenting mantra I had taken note of when I wasn’t even a parent is to never give in or even pay attention when your child is crying or wailing for silly/unwanted things. It is difficult to turn a deaf ear to those tears and heartbreaking cries, but believe me, when I say- you do it once, and you will do forever. This is tried and tested.
I gave in to Ay’s crying once and soon realized that she does it for everything small thing. Kids are smart. Much smarter than we know and think of. It is difficult for us, of course, because we’re a mom, but after 2-3 times the kids understand that crying is not a way out for everything.
Parenting Mantra 2- Listen to them when they throw tantrums
Children not always throw tantrums when they want something. Okay, they do, but sometimes it is not materialistic. Let me explain.
Sometimes, children misbehave and are unmanageable because they want our attention. It’s true. Being a work-from-home-mom and with an infant I admit, I unintentionally overlook Ay at times. I have realized whenever she is being difficult it is on such petty and minial things that I am surprised at her behavior.
And hence, it is imperative that we do not get angry or annoyed with our children, especially in situations when they are unmanageable. Be the listening ear they have been wanting from some time. Just be with them. Tell them you are there, always.
Parenting Mantra 3- Make them independent from the beginning
This point might have thrown a number of thoughts at you- huh, it is easier said than done. Is this even possible? Yeah, she doesn’t even know me. Well, I hear and understand you all. We all are mothers or fathers and none one of us have the same children or the same situations. But, a mother/father’s duties and responsibilities are the same. We want the same things for our children: to give them the best of the upbringing and abundance of love. Isn’t it.
Hence, we should try making our kids independent from the beginning. We can start with small activities like:
- Make them clean their room after studying/playing,
- make them put their soiled bloomers/lowers in the laundry when they are being potty-trained,
- Make them eat their meals by themselves
These are very much doable and go very far. Ay is close to 4yo and she is already helping me with the infant. Making children independent from a young age sure takes effort, but if we begin early the effort put in will be less and the results quick.
Parenting Mantra 4- Give your children the gift of time
This is one mantra I have kept more closely after the birth of my second child. Time is an essential element and a vital requirement of children. In fact, in this digital age, one can easily lose track of time, with the apps and the scrolling, ain’t we. So, when around with my kids, I try to keep my phone aside (it is hard though, with the pinging from work). But, I’m trying hard. Giving undivided attention to your children makes feel wanted and secure.
Being a parent is hard, but with some guidelines and parenting
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Please share your parenting mantras too. I’d love to hear them. I may take a tip or two. 🙂