#LiveItEqual

Marriage Education- Is it only for girls #LiveItEqual

#LiveItEqual

New to this world, was grappling to understand the tactics of blogging when I came across Blogchatter. And to be honest, this was the best thing to happen to LiveItYoung when it had just started it’s blogging journey. I entered into #MyFriendAlexa campaign through Blogchatter without thinking at all, only to win it at the end of the month. So, when Blogchatter came up with #BlogchatterProjects there were no second thoughts. And with this December campaign I hope to spread my voice with a question- Why aren’t we still equal, if we talk about EQUALITY?! #LiveItEqual

Where is the InEquality?

For the past few years, I am being troubled with plenty of questions on equality. No, it’s not the usual men-women equality I am referring to (I will come to this in the later posts), but primarily on the equality in our children, let me explain.

After my marriage and majorly after an on-going divorce in the family, I can’t help but wonder why everything is for girls only.

Since time immemorial, we have taught and prepared our daughters and ourselves from the day they are born, that they have to get married and go to another house, instilled in them the dos and don’ts of marriage, the importance of relations, and what not.

‘You must adjust. You must respect your in-laws, do as they say. Never raise your voice, keep it low to maintain a healthy atmosphere and relations. It’s better to accept things as they are, try not to change it, rather change yourself’. Are a few of the most common advice every parent gives to their daughter.

These, in fact, are only the tip of the iceberg that parents throw on girls from a very early age (sometimes from childhood). The crux, a girl is expected to forget all she learned in her home and accept everything, as it is, after marriage in just a few days.

A question I want to ask each and every one of us- should Marriage Education be given to girls only? Click To Tweet

 

Is it only a girl who is marrying? What about the boy? Is it the responsibility of only a girl/daughter to take care of her new family, to adjust to the new atmosphere, to accept everyone as they are?

I agree there is an adjustment in every relationship. Each of us has to change a bit, has to adjust, has to accept certain things the way they are after marriage. But, again I ask, why are all such things taught only to the girls, to the daughters. Why?

Why don’t we ever, ever impart even a pinch of this marriage education to our sons? After all, aren’t both the girl and the boy entering into marriage together? Why this favoritism?

Shouldn’t boys be taught that they ought to become a bridge between their wife and their family, especially their mother? The man needs to understand he is the closest person in the new family for the girl, her only emotional support in the new atmosphere. But, unfortunately, I have never come across any family who gives any such advice to their son.

The one advice boys are given before marriage is, tips for their first night and their sex life, the hows and whats, and dos and dont’s.

Who decides when a girl should marry?

To think of it, let’s keep aside marriage education. Now that we are talking I also want to ask- why are girls always pushed into getting married the moment they finish their education or attain a certain age? All parents, the day a girl is old enough (age differs and can range from 16 yrs to 26 yrs) start talking or hinting at marriage proposals to their daughter. Shouldn’t even the thought of marriage be resting with the girl?  

‘Oh, you won’t find a good match. You’ve studied enough. You’re of the appropriate age. Whatever you want to do now, you can do at your new house, if your in-laws allow.’

Wow. Really? Did I actually say that? Yes, I did, because this is what a majority of girls get to hear. Do their aspirations, ambitions, desires mean nothing for the parents? Sometimes I feel parents let their daughters study, and study well I must say, so parents can later easily find a good match for them.

Why isn’t the same thing with boys? I don’t see any parent pushing their sons like they do their daughters? What’s funny is, even if some parents do ask their son this question, the answer usually is- ‘I’m not ready right now. Will let you know when I’m ready’, and the parents readily accept this answer to never again pester their beloved son. But, if a girl utters these words? Oh Goodness! She is in for a nice emotional and mental blackmail, or torture I would call it.

Where is the equality? Are we imparting equal upbringing and atmosphere to our kids, girl or boy? Click To Tweet

We don’t treat our kids equally and later expect men to respect our daughters. No wonder girls are treated like property and trash by men after marriage because somewhere in some family a sister, a mother is treated like this in front of a son, so he can treat his wife the same.

Why aren’t we still Equal if we talk about Equality? Click To Tweet

A question we need to address, need to heed, need to ponder over, need to Take Action on. I urge everyone to reflect on our doings and to pledge for a change starting from our home.

 

 

Author: rashi mital

A mother and a travel enthusiast, I love speed and am proud of my driving skills. In my free time I love reading, writing, and sometimes doing nothing. I try to live every moment and believe in living young despite the age.

5 Comments on “Marriage Education- Is it only for girls #LiveItEqual

  1. Very nicely written, Rashi. You raise some important and sadly, age old, questions. It’s amazing how things have advanced so much and not at all, at the same time. It’s not just an Indian thing but it’s more pronounced in the developing world.
    It’s a very personal family issue enhanced by societal pressures. I know in my family we have been raised with utmost equality and that might make us outliers but we have not change the society.
    Looking forward to this series.

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Prateek. You have so rightly put it – “things have advanced so much and not at all, at the same time”. I completely agree with this. It’s our responsibility as to #takecharge and bring the change in the society. Someone will have to lead. Why don’t we lead individually, yet together? Do whatever we can from where we are!

  2. Very true but since our family structure and atmosphere is such that we don’t bother about boys and set them free to do anything. Now the atmosphere is changing

    1. Thank you so very, very much for reading the post, and most importantly understanding my viewpoint. I really hope that the coming generations grow up with a change. 🙂

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