AtoZ Challenge

#Acceptance #IAmShe

#IAmShe

Asmi’s Journal

5/05/15

Today, was like every other day, packed with household chores and the same routine. But, today, something happened which made me stop and think. It was nothing big, a small incident, can be said regular too, but I couldn’t stop myself from wondering on the reality that hit me henceforth and the truth which came from it, which cannot be denied.

Neel was working from home today and had clearly told us not to disturb him. And, we all abide by. Nonetheless, it was a regular day for us and though Neel was around it didn’t really matter.

It was after lunch and Maa was watching her regular saas-bahu serial, back to back. I just hate these stupid, baseless serials. So, toxic for our society.

I retired to my room for a quick nap when Maa updated that Sudha aunty was coming over in some time.

Lovely. There goes my nap. There goes my Me-Time. Because, of course, how can a daughter-in-law be in her room if there is a guest at home, even though if this guest comes to visit us thrice a week.

“Namaste, aunty.”

“Namaste, beta. Asmi, you’re still the same, beta. Don’t you eat anything? You’re so thin!”

Every part of me wanted to scream ‘No aunty, I’m living on air and water. I don’t feel like eating anything. M allergic to food’. But, all I could muster was a weak smile.

“Oh, don’t ask me, Sudha. She doesn’t eat Almonds. She doesn’t eat Karela. Nothing.” How could Maa be left behind from taunting on my physic? After all, my weight gain is her responsibility. What my parents and nature couldn’t do, Maa has to do. And as if eating almonds and karela were the only two items which could make me fat. As if, the hundred other things I eat are useless.

Even after 10 years of my marriage, this saga continues. Comment on my weight. Comment on my falling hair. Comment on my dressing sense. Comment on the kind of books I read (yes, this too). Comment on bloody every small thing.

Sometimes, I wonder, is commenting on daughters-in-law some kind of a pass time or refreshment for the mothers-in-law.

Just then Neel came out from the study and I was so relieved. I knew he would come to my rescue. But, when Neel didn’t even acknowledge the conversation, which I’m sure he heard while coming in the room, I felt dejected, as if left alone in a battlefield.

I had half-expected Neel to put a lid on this age-old conversation. But, alas.

I’m sick of listening to the rain of advice on making myself better. Why? Ain’t I happy and healthy the way I am? I do everything a daughter-in-law should do and I hardly get sick. Then why? Why this sickening pressure? Why this scrutiny? Why can’t I be accepted the way I am? Why do I need to change myself to fit in this family?

Each time a comment is passed I feel like standing in large a room and being stripped to my skin by every other person, some whom I don’t even know.

Who gave them this right? The right to judge me? to change me? And the question hit me hard like a poisonous arrow.

Will I ever be accepted into the family, the way I am? Will any daughter-in-law be accepted, as she is, by her husband’s family?

 


This post is a part of Asmi’s Journal written for Blogchatter A2Z Blogging Challenge.

Asmi is just another girl, like you and me, trying to push her stand in our dominated and hypocrite society. The society which cannot bear anything different cropping up through its ancient roots. Anything different is termed as harmful and a stain on the existing norms, whether it’s a female trying to voice her opinion or a child trying to reason out.

Why is it so difficult to accept?

There are many such questions that need to be addressed. This, is just the beginning.

Author: rashi mital

A mother and a travel enthusiast, I love speed and am proud of my driving skills. In my free time I love reading, writing, and sometimes doing nothing. I try to live every moment and believe in living young despite the age.

40 Comments on “#Acceptance #IAmShe

    1. I agree, Monika. But it’s not just about weight or appearance, it’s about accepting a person as they are. Thanks for reading 🙂

    1. So, there is someone who thinks alike. Thanks Jayanthi. I don’t understand why we are so hell bound to change the other person when we cannot change ourselves? Thanks much for reading 🙂

  1. you know rashi the main reason why there isnt acceptance, is because we tend to see our qualities as superior in comparison to what others have. We fail to look at thers as individuals , and feel they ought to be they we are. Sad but true. But well one consciously must make an effort to accept one and all.

    1. Perhaps you’re right, Ramya. But, it makes me sick. I mean everywhere people are only pointing at others, telling them only the bad. Why is it so difficult to accept other when they expect others to accept them as they are ?

  2. I know it’s hurtful, but more than that it’s irritating. The thing is you can’t change people, this I have tried and understood that if you can’t change, why should people change. So let them be. Looking forward to more Asmi chronicles. 🙂

    1. That’s a nice way to pacify oneself. People will not change and we don’t see the need to change for them. So probably let go. Thanks for reading, Anshu 🙂

  3. I hope Asmi hits back loud and clear- listening to something wrong and not retorting will only make it worst. I know its not easy and she has her own challenges. Eager to read more

    1. I hope so too, Akshata. N yes, it is important to talk back, at times, to save one’s self-respect. The more one listens, the more they are pointed at. It’s never easy, but one has to take their stand. Thanks for reading 🙂

    1. At times, maybe. but sometimes, i think, the darting needs to stop. even the dart is full after some time. thanks for dropping by, Ruchi 🙂

  4. That question she worried about is the question which makes me also go sleepless many a nights. Great post on accepting others. accepting others will make you and others happy. Happy to join in A To Z Challenge.

    1. Absolutely, Vasantha. We must accept others as they are. We all have our good and bad, instead of focusing on the bad, better to focus on the good and appreciate it. Thanks for reading. 🙂

    1. Haha. This is not even trailer for the life of an India DIL. I hope they are given more respect and acceptance. Waiting for your posts too, Bud. 🙂

    1. Thanks a lot, Reema. I hope so too. It is a high time a lot of every day things change in our society, in the daily lives, in the families. 🙂

  5. I am all tears. You have penned something that happened almost everywhere to someone in this world. I hope to azmi giving back in the nearing episodes. Loved your story rashi.

  6. Most women I have seen, probably including me, have learnt to ignore everything and not be bothered by anyone’s taunts. Why should I be a reaction to another’s words or actions?

    1. right, Sonia. I read the other two posts too. amazing, isn’t it? I so hope Asmi gathers her strength and stand up for herself. Thanks for reading, buddy. 🙂 How’s it going with you? I think your blog got skipped today, being my first day too. Dropping in tomorrow surely. 🙂

  7. Hehe, Rashmi, I couldn’t suppress my smile, reading your last line: “Why is it so difficult to accept?” If you ask the MIL, the same thing is going in her mind, too, that why is it so difficult to accept? The problem is everybody wants other to accept but not himself/herself. DIL wants MIL to accept and MIL wants DIL to accept. The basic thing one forgets that one cannot make other to accept. One has no control over others but only on oneself. One cannot change the circumstances but only onself.

    Kudos, Rashmi, for writing such thought-provoking stories 🙂

    1. Thanks for reading, Ravish despite not being a participant. Means a lot. 🙂 Well you’re right we have no control over others. But, why don’t we make it simple- IF you accept me, why expect me to accept you and vice versa.. Sometimes, give and take looks so simple. Isn’t it?

      P.S.- My name is RASHI 🙂

  8. Oh well! That’s a tough one. As an outsider, I can say that instead of listening, Asmi must take a stand and give the reply instead of her MIL filling in. She should be more vocal.

  9. Great post Rashi! Lovely theme. It would be interesting to see how Asmi takes on the challenge. Will she rise above all or succumb? Great start…

  10. A hundred flaws in her daughter is neglected and one flaw in her daughter-in-law is pin-pointed at every damn opportunity. This is our society and that’s how most mon-in-laws are designed by our society. Although, I have seen quite a few MIL’s who cares for their DIL’s just like their own daughters, there is still a huge gap that needs to be filled.

    I so loved your write-up where you are trying to send a message in the form of fiction.

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