I often meet parents who take pride in their child’s ability to operate mobiles and similar devices at an early age. The younger the child, the higher the pride. And, I can’t help but feel sorry for them, because rather than making effort themselves to entertain their children, such parents tread the way of technology. Don’t do this! Is what I want to tell them.
We all boast our respective parenting practices but are they really working for our children, is what we need to ponder over and reflect upon.
Here are 5 doable parenting practices I follow for an effective upbringing for my daughter:
1. A No is a No
Children usually throw tantrums for things not meant for them and especially those out of bounds, especially which aren’t their toys. Parents need to be stubborn and say No.
For instance, your child wants an unbreakable and small object (can be used as their toy), and you give it to them. This act will tell the child that they can play with anything at home and raise his expectations. Now, what we do when our child asks for something which is breakable, expensive, memorable? Surely, we say No and scold our wailing child.
The fault here is not our child’s, but our. If we hadn’t agreed to their demand in the first place, this would never have happened. Children interpret such an act as if it’s done once it can be done again. We should teach our children their boundaries from their age itself.
The below image shows a cabinet which my 2.5 yo daughter can easily access climbing up her chair and take whatever she wants. But, she doesn’t, for she knows this part of the house is untouchable.
*She doesn’t even touch her piggy bank house and asks me when she wants it.
2. The Crying Corner
Fix a place in your home as the crying corner. So, whenever your child cries for no reason, make them stand in the corner and tell them to move only when the crying stops. It Works!
It’s not that my daughter never cried/cries or gets impossible to manage. She is just a kid. But, whenever she does cry unnecessarily we make her stand in the crying corner. And, if she wants to come to me or go to her father she has to stop crying, else she stands there (which ends soon, of course).
Be strong and never ever give in to your child’s demand when they are crying. Never. This is a Big No. Trust me when I say- If you give in to their crying once, they make it a habit from the second time itself.
*I have been there and glad to realize this soon.
3. Cut On The Devices
Nearly 90% of parents today give mobiles/tablets/toy laptops to children to pacify them in the initial years and later to keep them busy while the parents enjoy/work without being disturbed. This way the child gets used to screen and later we blame them for not spending time with us.Children are not puppets. Stop blaming them for something you instilled in them. Click To Tweet
There are kids around 1.5-2 years, who can unlock mobiles, browse through the menu, and even play their song on youtube (yes, I have seen such kids).
My daughter doesn’t touch our mobiles and laptops and in fact, watches rhymes only on the TV through Google Chromecast. This serves two purposes- she watches rhymes on a big screen and with a good distance between her eyes and the screen.
Don’t say your child doesn’t listen to you. This is the lamest excuse I hear. Your child is say 2 yo doesn’t listen to you, who is like 25-30 yo? Seriously?
4. Make Them Independent
No child is young to learn anything and I say this from my experience. My daughter eats all her meals by herself and I don’t feed her anymore. I do small bites of roti, she takes some sabji, dips it in daal, and eats. Of course, she spills sometimes, but that’s ok. She is learning to eat by herself. This continues at the restaurants too.
I am a blogger, so a stay-at-home working mother. Hence, it is extremely important that my child is independent in a few ways. Give your children toys (age specific) which involve activities like building blocks, play doughs, or even simple colouring books. There are times when I cannot play with her and if she can play by herself even for two hours, I am satisfied that she will not feel dejected and bereft.
The crux is we must start making our children independent from day one. You will feel proud later one day.
5. Difference Between Children and Parents
It is vital to make the child understand that they cannot do everything their parents do. Often parents stop eating, drinking, doing stuff they like, thinking their child might also want to do the same. And why not? Can’t we give up certain things for our kids?
I, however, would differ here, not that I cannot give up for my child, I did give up drinking throughout my pregnancy and until breastfeeding. We belong to the modern era parenting age and have a very different lifestyle as compared to our parents.
So, I would want my daughter to understand if I am having or doing something doesn’t mean she can have or do it too. If I am drinking or say applying makeup doesn’t mean she can too. Yes, she has asked for these. We always keep tetra pack juices for her for these times, and she knows that our juices are different.
*For makeup it’s a clear No.
I have spoken about my daughter in every point above, not to boast, but to break the myths around parenting and to prove that everything is doable. My kid still spills water, messes with food, and throws her toys and I let her do, because she is only 2.5 yo and do not want to discipline her childhood.Let's not discipline our children's childhood, but our upbringing. Click To Tweet
Our parents’ have given us the best upbringing with minimum external factors, let’s pledge to do the same.
Do you agree with me? Share your parenting practices, would love to learn more effective parenting practices.